I'm Scott Abbott, licensed mental health counselor. Today we're talking about family and how to deal with them when they have harmed us. I don't just mean in a particular instance, but kind of in general. There's been patterns that have been unhealthy. This is a complex issue with many different tributaries, which I will get back to at later date.

Today in the New Year, coming back from the holidays, I'm hearing two storylines from people who have gone to be with extended family. One is “thank you Scott, for the game plan. Things went better than ever when I went to visit or go back home with them.” The other is “what just happened that was a train wreck.” And, so I will post later in the year with some of the gameplay ideas. The thing that I would encourage you to do is to reflect on the what just happened and the strategy here is there's no good treatment plan that can happen without proper diagnosis. Diagnose what is the problem here. Is it, substance abuse? Is it narcissistic personality disorder? Is it just old family systems where they are not going to allow you to change? They want to keep you in that that box that they put you in years ago.

Understanding what it is will then allow us to figure out what the best plan is. Some of those plans might be to cut off a family member, might be to limit the time you you spend. It might mean you only visit as a as, not a guest who stays there, but a guest who rents a place down the street. It might mean that you establish healthy boundaries. It may mean they could use some help as well. I don't recommend you lead with “you guys need therapy,” but maybe you want to share a testimony of how you've been getting help or how you've been working on certain things and then kind of cracked the door open to then encourage them to get get healthy and we can go more into some of the specifics in the future, but start with the diagnosis and then we'll get into the treatment plan.